Doggedly determined

--> So, yesterday I wrote a depressing post about my frustration with the adoption process and having to wait for someone to choose me.  As I laid on my bed crying and feeling sorry for myself, the thought came to my mind, that the problem was not that someone didn’t want to choose me, but that they hadn’t found me yet.  This thought helped me get off the bed and formulate another plan of action.  I am going to find our child and I will not give up.   Call it perseverance, determination, or call it stubbornness.  On this thing I will not budge.  I will not give up on finding my child or his/her birthparents. 

Obviously, that is what I have been trying to do all along, getting the word out about our adoption so we could be found, but yesterday when things seemed to be at a standstill, I made the mistake of entertaining negative thoughts and questions.  So the next time my mind tries to drag me down and have me entertain the stupid question: “What’s wrong with me?”   I have my answer ready—Nothing!  There’s nothing wrong with me.   Things will work out, I just have to keep at it and not give up.  This isn't about me, this is about my child and those connected with adoption.  Sounds simple enough.  And yes, it sounds a little hard at the same time.  But I can do hard things.  That's where being stubborn about somethings really comes in handy.   

I am not sure what I will do differently or in addition to find our child or to help his/her birth parents find us, but I will persevere through this and I will not give up.

I was curious to read more about what it means to be stubborn, and I liked the definition I found on the internet.  Stubborn:  having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something.  I like the idea of being doggedly determined about adoption. 

We will have more children join our family.  That's all there is to it.   And the whirlwind of excitement and joy and sleeplessness that comes from having another baby in the house will occur and it will all have been worth it.